Authentication of Bittersweet
by averynolan
Summary: Spencer and Ashley Post Season 3A. “It’ll all be alright in the end,” she whispered to the young girl as she placed an anguish kiss against her lips.
1. Chapter 1: Gamble Everything for Love

Title: Authentication of Bittersweet

Author: Valentine.Nolan

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the South of Nowhere characters. They belong to the-n and Tom Lynch.

Feedback: I find that feedback feeds my soul...plus creates more updates.

Pairing: Spashley and others.

Rating: PG-13 to NC-17

Summary: "It'll all be alright in the end," she whispered to the young girl as she placed an anguish kiss against her lips. The promise was made and the hope of it being fulfilled is what carries both girls along throughout their days.

bChapter One.

Gamble Everything for Love.

Part One

(NC-17)/b

She had woken up in the same position she had fallen asleep in, still tangled up in Spencer's arms. Delicately, she softly laid a kiss on the blonde's nose. Her lips were barely touching the skin. Spencer's eyes slowly came open, blinking the sleep away from her eyes.

With a sleepy smile she spoke, "Good mornin'."

Ashley smiled mischievously and bent down to lay a kiss on Spencer's bruised lips. She let her tongue lightly dart out to taste the girl's skin and tease her lips apart. Before she deepened the kiss, the brunette pulled back and looked into the deep blue eyes in front of her. The light hues staring back at her lustfully. She could feel Spencer's heart beat against her own chest and felt the blonde's hands clutch at her hips. She let out a soft hiss as the other girl's nails dug into previously broken skin.

She never remembered Spencer ever being like this before.

She liked it.

Spencer shifted her leg and brushed it against Ashley's naked sex. Ashley moaned at the deliberate contact. She was not ready for such forward actions and began to wonder when the girl had become so open. She knew it was partly her fault for not knowing, giving that the last six months they have been anything but lovers. It still hurt her to think that she had lost so much time with the girl lying underneath her, but she was glad that the girl fixed that the previous night before.

Showing up at her doorstep in a trench coat with nothing underneath is the way to go.

All at once, a rush of heat and unfulfilled desire flooded both girls' senses. The previous night had been soft and loving, re-exploring each others, and was meant to be something beautiful.

It really was beautiful, perfect even.

Now, as Spencer flipped the two of them over and crushed her mouth into Ashley's, it had turned into something molten and desperate. Spencer slipped her thigh against the rapidly growing wetness of Ashley's arousal.

"Spencer," Ashley hissed at the growing heat in her center. Her hiss soon turned into a loud scream as Spencer's teeth came in contact with Ashley's hardened nipple. Spencer's tongue swirled around the reddened area and then biting down again and tugging the small pebble with her teeth.

The older girl moaned as she arched her back to try to get closer. "Sp...Spencer, please, I need you."

Spencer smiled against her fleshed, but ignored the plea of the older girl. Instead, she tasted the sweetness of Ashley's other nipple and sucked it into her mouth. She let her teeth rack against the coral colored pebble and let her right hand come up and knead the girl's other breast. She knew what she was doing. She was being a tease in all the best ways. She flicked her tongue across Ashley's nipple causing the girl to cry and arch her back into her mouth again.

"Fuck," Ashley cried.

Spencer's free hand began to slowly drift down between them. Her fingers danced across Ashley's taunt abs and lightly scratched at the smooth skin under her belly button. She was going agonizingly slow.

Spencer stopped her torture on Ashley's breasts and looked up at the girl innocently. She smiled softly, cocking her head to the side, "Now, baby, what do you want?"

Ashley breathe out, "I want you to touch me."

"Where?" The blonde said angelically.

"My clit, please." Ashley begged the younger girl.

Spencer smiled wickedly and slowly kissed her way down the girl's breast. To Ashley's displeasure, her hand that was so close to what the girl had wanted was taken away.

Spencer slowly kissed her way down Ashley's stomach and cut across to her thigh. She kissed her way from one thigh to the other, ignoring Ashley's rising hips. Her hands came back up and spread Ashley's legs apart so she could situate herself between them. She bent the older girl's knees and had her open before her eyes.

Ashley watched her blue eyes turn darker with hunger and heard "so beautiful" escape the blonde's lips.

Spencer let her middle finger softly and lightly trace up the brunette's entrance before bending down and replacing her finger with her tongue. With a gasp, Ashley bucked her hips of the bed causing Spencer's tongue to rack across the older girl's clit.

Both girl's moaned as Spencer's torture came to the end and she dove right into her task at hand. Spencer brought her hands up and spread Ashley's legs apart even more, causing the gorgeous tanned lips to spread apart and the pink little nub to peek out. Spencer smiled and took it between her lips. Her tongue darting out and attack the nub into a sweet fight.

Ashley's arousal was intoxicating to the other girl and caused her to go down to her primal roots. She flicked Ashley's clit with her tongue repeatedly, taking breaks between and softly lick at the hardened nub.

"Oh, fuck! Spencer, more!" Ashley tried to get out as her hands came down to rake through Spencer's hair.

Spencer pushed her hands away and mumbled a "don't touch" without taking her attention away from Ashley's clit. She grinned against the flesh. She brought her hands back down to where she was working and positioned two fingers at Ashley's entrance before taking the sensitive nub between her teeth. Ashley hissed at the intense feeling from her clit. Spencer couldn't have timed it better as she drove her fingers into her girl's tight entrance.

Ashley bucked wildly as Spencer's assault on her clit didn't stop and nor did her fingers pounding in her, slightly curving to hit the right spot. Spencer wrapped her free arm under on of Ashley's legs and brought her in closer.

"That's right baby," Spencer growled up at her lover. The way Ashley's body dripped with sweat and the morning sun hit her body made Spencer suddenly think there could not be anything hotter than this.

"Oh, yes, yes, please yeah," Ashley cried out as Spencer added another finger into her molten core.

Spencer moaned against her clit, loving the taste of the dripping girl. She never thought this was how she would spend her morning but didn't regret one second of it.

Ashley began to have no control over her hips as she began to turn erratic and wild. The feeling that Spencer was making her feel was intense and overpowering. Spencer's fingers were soaked and moving quickly in and out of the older girl.

Harder and harder, faster and fast.

With every thrust and every nibble, Ashley's cries became higher and shakier. Spencer began to feel Ashley's thighs shake and shiver around her. She grinned into Ashley's heated mound. She felt Ashley's walls tighten around her fingers and her orgasm begin to take over. The velvet muscles constricted and her clit pulsed. A gush of liquid came from Ashley's center and coated Spencer's hand as her orgasm only intensified.

Spencer thought, "I wish I could hear her cum all my life."

Ashley's moans and cries of pleasure only made Spencer drip more as she let her girl ride out her orgasm. Spencer brought her free hand down between her own legs and rubbed at her own clit. One hand was working herself, while the other was still pleasuring her girlfriend.

She was so close to her own release when Ashley came down off her orgasm. Spencer laid a soft kiss against the older girl's sex before taking her fingers out and coming up to give her a soft kiss. Ashley smiled down at Spencer, "Am I that hot that I make you touch yourself?"

Spencer rolled her eyes, "I can see your ego hasn't came down."

"Not one bit," Ashley grinned. "Let me help you."

As hot as it was to watch Spencer touch herself, she felt the need to touch the girl herself. She knew that she had brought the other girl to orgasm several times the previous night but she needed to do it once more.

She slowly dragged her hand down the blonde's body but to only stop as a sound interrupted the girls.

"Beacause of yoooouuuuuu."

The sound of Kelly Clarkson's voice boomed throughout the silent room as Spencer let out a sigh and reached for her phone. She smiled a small smile at Ashley before answering the phone.

"Hey...yeah...when...now...sure...'kay...love you too." Spencer spoke softly and in a different tone than she had spoken with Ashley earlier. Her voice sounded like the old innocent Spencer. The Spencer who didn't have anything or anyone that could hurt her. The naive Spencer who thought the world wasn't such a bad place.

She looked at Ashley apologetically, "That was Dad, I have to go home."

Ashley looked a little disappointed, "Now...but..."

"I know, but he says it is urgent." Spencer said rising to her knees. "Family meeting."

Ashley nodded her head and rose to sit up. She smiled softly at the blonde and tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. The way the sun hit her gorgeous face gave her angelic features. Ashley wished things were different. She wished that she could embrace the girl and have everything be perfect. She wished that she was there six months ago and didn't hesitate.

But her wishes always fell on deaf ears.

"I love you, you know that right?" Ashley said a little shyly. She wasn't used to being this vulnerable but knew she had to be honest with the blonde.

How else would she be able to keep her girl?

Spencer smiled, "I love you too, but I have to go."

Spencer stood up searching the room for her discarded trench coat and hills. She looked at them for a second thinking that showing up at home in it probably wouldn't be the best idea. She smiled at Ashley and pointed to her closet. Ashley nodded her head and motioned with her hand to go right ahead.

As the blond went off to borrow some clothes, Ashley spoke loud enough for her. "So, Spence?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we okay?"

"Of course, why wouldn't we be?"

"I mean," Ashley took a breath, "Are we 'us' again."

Spencer walked out of the closet and looked seriously at the girl. "Do you want to be?"

Without hesitation, Ashley nodded her head, "Yeah."

"We need to take it slow," Spencer stated. "I mean, the whole relationship thing. I can't get hurt again."

"There is nothing in the world that could make me hurt you," Ashley said seriously and quickly. For some reason the words she had spoke to Spencer so many months ago on the girl's couch rang throughout her head. i "I want you...but I don't want to hurt you."/i

"I just want to go about this right. So much has changed since we broke up," Spencer said trying to convey to the older girl that things would be different. "I have changed."

Ashley nodded her head, "I know and I swear Spencer things will be different."

Spencer took a breath and raked her hand through her hair.

"I love you," Ashley said meaningfully.

Spencer smiled and leaned forward to place a chaste smile on the girl's lips. She pulled back, combing Ashley's hair out of her face. It was such a simple and intimate gesture that meant so much to the older girl. She needed that.

Spencer pulled back and walked backwards to the edge of the room. She smiled, "I know." With those simple words she turned and headed out of the apartment.

Ashley listened as the door clicked and flopped back against the pillows.

She got her girl back.

i"I think."/i

I need feedback.

:blink:


	2. Chapter 1 Part Two

Hey Everyone! It's Wednesday (meaning an update for Authentication). Just so you guys know, I got about 5 more chapters written up so I don't do you guys like I did you with Fickle. Lol, I love you too much to do that.

Also, I am currently looking for a Beta if anyone is interested.

Anywho...

Feed me when you're finished! I love you. Next chapter I will try to do some FOF.

Chapter One

Part Two

Gamble Everything for Love.

Spencer sighed.

She had been sitting on the couch next to Glen waiting for her father to come out of the kitchen for the past five minutes. She wasn't exactly worried about what he has to tell them. Though, the seriousness flowing off her mother signified that whatever it was, it was important.

The vibration of her phone informed the young girl that there was an incoming message. She looked down and read the words, "Incoming Message Ash." Pressing the button she opened the message.

bHey gorgeous/b

Spencer smiled and typed, "Hey yourself."

bHow's the meeting/b

"It hasn't started."

bimy/b

"imy2"

b Wanna come back over after meeting/b

"idk"

bso we back?/b

"back?"

b together?/b

"slow, ash."

bily/b

She really didn't know how to answer Ashley's questions. To be completely honest, Spencer was still pretty pissed off. She sees the changes in the other girl, but that doesn't completely stop the hurt. Spencer knows that she loves the older girl. There is no doubt about that. That doesn't help the fact that Ashley hesitated to choose, abandoned her when she needed her the most, and went back to Aiden. Spencer can dislike Aiden as much as she wants, and she does, but it really falls onto Ashley's choices.

She wants to be optimistic about the whole matter. She wants to be back with the girl. They could be great together, but Spencer knew she needed to talk to her also. It would be completely absurd to say she wanted to be with the girl forever if she could, which she would, but that is only if Ashley can be what she needs.

So, why weren't they back together? Why haven't they talked? She knew they needed to take it slow and she knows that things aren't that easy. You can't just put a bandage over a gun shot wound and call it healed. No, it takes time and care. Love is a lot like that. You can't just say 'I love you' and it be alright. Spencer just wishes that Ashley could see that. Things get complicated way too easy and it all falls onto the people who complicated it. Spencer knew they needed to talk, but she knew the time just wasn't right.

Spencer shifted uncomfortably and brought her legs to rest under her. The heat between her legs hasn't cooled down and she needed release. After this mornings little 'event', it left her feeling hot and bothered. She wishes she took that five minutes and let Ashley make her cum. Instead she was sitting there squirming uncomfortably.

"Spencer?" The calming voice of her father shook her out of her consuming thoughts. She glanced over at him with a smile. He chucked at her whole heartedly, "You with us?"

She nodded her head, "Sorry, got distracted."

"I bet you did," Glen muttered, causing Spencer to slap his leg. She knew that he had to bring Kyla home the night before but she hoped that they didn't hear anything. Her face became flushed at the mere thought.

"Hey," their mother chided, trying to get them to focus their attention back onto their father. "Your father has something to tell you."

Spencer turned back to the smiling man. He always had a relaxed, good nature look on his face which Spencer loved. He got comfortable in the chair next to his wife before speaking. "Remember Edward Lourer, the social worker that I used to work with back in Ohio?"

"The guy who always had grill outs?" Glen asked.

Arthur nodded his head, "Well, I got a call from him a couple days ago. It seems he got transferred to Louisville and is now running one of their shelters."

She remembered the man. Edward Lourer reminded her of her own father. He was a kind and loving man who always put others before himself. About ten years ago his wife had killed their three young children and then herself, causing the older man to devote himself to his work.

"That's good he got that job. Mr. Lourer is probably the best for it." Spencer noted aloud to her family.

Arthur nodded his head and continued, "Well, he called and had a very serious question for your mother and I. We have spent the last couple days thinking it over and discussing it…"

"What's the question, Dad?" Glen interrupted.

Arthur smiled, "Well, dear Glen, what do you guys think about welcoming another person into the Carlin home?"

The serious of the question registered in the two youngest blondes' head immediately. It was only six months since Clay's death and they both didn't know what to say to this question. Arthur noticed his children's inner battle with finding an answer. He understood and he, himself, felt the same way when Edward had asked him the question.

He leaned forward, "I know you guys probably don't know what to think of this…I think we are ready…"

"Ready? Ready for what? To replace Clay?" Spencer said raising her voice a little as emotions ran through her. She knew it wasn't the best idea to get angry but she couldn't help feeling like she would be betraying her brother in some way by agreeing to something like this. It would mean someone would come into their family. Someone would come in, sit in Clay's seat, sleep in Clay's room, take Clay's spot next to them at church…it was absolutely ludicrous to her.

"No honey," Paula started as she watched Spencer's brow furrow. "Your father means that we are ready to re-open our hearts. I didn't know what to think either, but after finding more out about this girl, I know this is something that Clay would have wanted."

She was right.

Spencer knew she was right, but a part of her still felt held back. Clay would have been advocating for them to take whomever into their home. He would tell them that he was once in this girl's spot and that she needed a family. He would tell them that they have enough love in their hearts for her…and that's what she needed.

To everyone's surprise Glen was the first to speak up, "I think we should do it."

Spencer looked over at Glen and sighed. Arthur added, "Spencer, just because we welcome someone into our home doesn't mean we are taking Clay out of our hearts."

She nodded her head. She knew what he was speaking was true. The problem was that she didn't think she was ready. She just opened up her heart and put it out there. Does she still have room to open it up again? The last twenty four hours has been perfect for her, but it has also been a huge gamble. She knew she was physically exhausted. But her emotional exhaustion was about to come to it's limit. By the end of this conversation she knew all she wanted was to flop into bed. Her earlier dilemmas were forgotten.

"So, what do you say?" Her father asked eagerly. She smiled, he really was a saint.

"I'm in!" Glen said with a grin on his face.

Everyone glanced over at Spencer. She put a light smile on her lips, "I guess."

Arthur smiled at his daughter, "Good, now all we have to do is go get her."

"Now?" Spencer asked.

"No, her plane comes in Tuesday." Paula corrected.

Glen took a drink out of his bottle of water that was sitting on the floor next to them. Spencer kept that small smile on her lips. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. She untangled her legs from underneath her and leaned forward like her father had earlier. She asked, "So, tell us about her."

Arthur smiled and looked over at Paula who had a smile on her face also. Spencer chuckled to herself putting two and two together. She wasn't home last night. Glen wasn't home last night. Her parents were smiling and looking at each other.

They so got laid.

Arthur explained, "Well, it's not a usual case."

"Why?" Glen asked.

"She just turned eighteen a couple months ago. So, that means that we aren't going to be her foster parents."

Spencer cocked her head to the side, "If she is eighteen then why does she need a home?" From what she knew, when someone turned eighteen there wasn't a need to look for a family.

Arthur continued, "Because from what Edward has said she is a good kid without a home. He praises her and if we can offer her a family who will love her, then why not?"

Paula added, "Plus. I was able to talk to her for a little bit. She is quiet and shy, but she is very smart. Edward mentioned she is involved with a lot of organizations herself…its just that a couple months ago she finally left an abusive home life and is now living in a shelter."

"If she is so perfect than why doesn't she just live by herself?" Glen asked.

Spencer turned her head at him, "Why don't you live by yourself? You're nineteen."

"Cause its hard!" Glen exclaimed.

Arthur nodded his head, "Exactly. She is not perfect either. She has her problems and issues. She comes from years of some serious abuse. She has potential, but from what she is currently going through that potential is slowly dying."

Spencer surprised them with her next words, "It shouldn't matter. If she needs us then let's be here for her. What's her name?"

Arthur smiled at his daughter. He saw so much of himself in her and that pleased him. She has grown a lot in the last six months. His heart hurt that she now understood some of the bad things in the world, but glad she could get through it. Like any other parent, he wanted to shelter her away from the world's coldness, but he knew he couldn't do that. Over the last six months he watched his naïve little girl turn into an independent woman with so much love in her heart. He was proud of her.

"Her name is Sawyer. She is a senior in high school like you." Arthur gave them more details.

"Is she staying in Clay's room?" Spencer asked.

Paula nodded, "Yes. I was hoping tomorrow we could go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and get some things to fix it up for her." She looks between Arthur and Glen, "Maybe you two could even paint tonight…maybe we all could paint tonight. Make it into a family thing?"

Spencer's heart broke at the need in her mother's voice. She felt that there was more about this girl that her parents weren't telling her. Of course, she didn't pry. Spencer figured it was probably the thought of having to re-do Clay's room. It was like moving one child out, a child you'll never see again, and bringing a whole new one in to take that other one's place.

Arthur smiled softly at his wife and reached for her hand that was sitting on the arm rest. He squeezed it reassuringly, "I think that would be a good idea." He thought that was a good idea for everyone actually. He knew that they all needed to do this. It would not only help them, but help this girl they will be welcoming into their home. He knew her entire story and he knew that she needed them so much.

As he looked at his family, he knew that they would need her also.

Glen got to stand up and Spencer pulled him down. He sighed, "I have to work tonight."

Paula shook her head, "I think Kyla won't need you for one night."

He sighed and fell back into the couch. "I guess."

Paula smiled, "So it's decided, we work on the room as a family. Then Tuesday we will pick her up."

They all nodded in agreement.

This was a step in healing…

…opening up your hearts.

Feed me please...


	3. Chapter 1: Part Three

Super Busy

Prom tonight!

Thanks to Kayla (scouse) and Lady Esmeralda! They are pretty much the best betas!

**Part Three**

Sweat coated her palms as she made her way past security. Her feet were hurting from the long walk from her terminal, and her back continued to throb from the thirty-pound backpack that held everything to her name. She was beyond nervous about this.

Los Angeles hasn't been in her thoughts since she was twelve. It was what was in Los Angeles that had consumed her thought over these years. Though, she pledged to push back the vibrant memories of her childhood. She was finally handed a new beginning and she planned to take it even if it meant to give up her past.

She wouldn't mess it up this time.

As she made her way to the area where people awaited their loved ones, deep coco eyes searched the crowd of people for a sign that held her name. Edward had forgotten to show her a picture of whom she was searching for. She remembered their names and even their voices from a previous phone conversation, but that didn't help at the moment.

She sighed and pulled out her Sidekick to give Edward a call, but soon remembered that it had been turned off over a week ago. She put it back in her pants pocket and readjusted her backpack. She pulled out the left ear bud of her ipod while glancing around.

She was screwed.

She didn't know who she was looking for.

She took another deep sigh and then yawned at the same time.

Oh, yeah, jet lag is in her future.

"Sawyer!"

The dark eyed girl turned her attention to the far left where a small group of people stood. A tall, dark haired man held up a colorful poster with her name decorated on it.

Sawyer hesitated for a moment. She felt both self-conscious about her self and fearful as she stood twenty feet away from the smiling faces of the family who had taken her in.

Sawyer took a step forward, studying the family. They all stood close to each other with carefree smiles written across their faces. Edward said they had just lost a son six months ago. Poor kid, looks like he had it good. She knew from experience that carefree smiles usually meant nothing.

She waved half-heartedly and plastered a small smile onto her lips.

She walked over to the small group of four, dodging the random people in a hurry to get to their destination. She stopped a good four feet in front of the family. Shyly, she swept a loose strand of reddish brown hair behind her ear.

"Hi," she said quietly. Her voice barley carrying to the Carlin's ears in the loud airport.

The older blonde woman smiled warmly at her, "I hope you had a safe trip."

"Thank you," Sawyer returned the smile. "The Carlin's right?"

Arthur nodded his head, "Yes, I'm Arthur, Edward's old colleague."

The young girl nodded her head, "Yeah, I talked to you and Mrs. Carlin on the phone."

"Yes you did. You also spoke to my wife, Paula." He gestured to the older blonde. "And these are our two children, Spencer and Glen."

"Hello Mrs. Carlin," Sawyer's voice was both shy and polite.

"Please call me Paula."

Paula looked the girl over. The motherly instinct in her wanted to embrace the girl in her arms. Edward explained to them she had been through hell before she came to the shelter a couple weeks ago, but only increased when the girl's mother last saw her.

Edward explained that a week ago her mother came in promising the girl everything would be alright. Wanting to believe her mother like any child would, Sawyer went back home with her. Edward explained the call he got at four in the morning from the hospital. They had found his card in her wallet, thinking she was homeless.

Paula noticed the split lip and the deep purple coloring set around her right eye. It looked like her eye was healing alright, but the split lip needed to be re-stitched. She had her left arm in a white plaster cast. There were some random words written on it, but not much.

Overwhelmed with emotion, Paula smiled and embraced the girl. Sawyer was surprised with the action and froze up for a second before realizing she was safe and relaxed. This wasn't so bad after all.

**...**

Spencer watched from off to the side as Sawyer unloaded her backpack. Her parents were idly telling her about school and the area. Spencer wasn't paying attention. She watched as the girl pulled out a couple pairs of jeans and about five shirts. She pulled out two shoeboxes, but then pulled out a pair of chucks and flip-flops. She then opened a flap and pulled out a laptop. She sat all these things carefully on the bed as if she had carried her world on her back and turned her attention back to Spencer's parents.

Spencer gave her the once over.

Sawyer was small, petite. She looked as if she didn't eat enough. Spencer smiled at that thought knowing her mother would fix that. Her eyes (the one that wasn't purple) had dark circles under them and her lip appeared to be swelling. She looked tired and broken to Spencer. Her hoodie was a little too big for her but her pants were tight fitting; making Spencer think she was just using the hoodie as warmth. As the sun shined through the window, it highlighted the girls natural reddish tint to her hair and her caramel colored skin. If Spencer was walking down the street, she knew that she would have checked her out.

The girl had natural beauty.

"Spencer, right?" The girl asked softly.

Spencer nodded her head and offered her a smile, "Yeah, how are you doing?" She said pointing to Sawyer's arm.

Sawyer smiled weakly, "Alright, a little tired."

"I bet."

"They're nice," she said pointing to where Paula and Arthur once stood.

Spencer nodded, "Yeah, they truly are."

Sawyer looked around her room, "This place is awesome by the way."

"Yeah, we just finished it last night."

"You guys did wonderful," she commented looking around the light green room. The walls had a couple random black and white pictures of different places in Los Angeles. She had a full size bed and a desk by the bay window. She had a ROXY comforter and some pillows on the bed. Her closet was bare, waiting for her things to go inside and a couple shelves waiting for her to put whatever on there. Spencer knew that her parents wanted to take Sawyer shopping, but planned to surprise her the next day.

"Clay...my brother...had this room," The blonde explained, leaning against the wall.

Sawyer nodded her head knowingly, "What happened? If you don't mind me asking."

"A school shooting at Prom."

"Prom?" Sawyer's eyes went wide.

Spencer nodded.

Sawyer took a seat on her bed, "Wow, erm, I never remembered Los Angeles being that bad."

"You've lived here?" Spencer asked.

The dark haired girl nodded her head. "When I was little."

She turned back to trying to straighten up her clothes, the little she had. Spencer took this as something she didn't want to talk about at the time. Instead, Spencer pulled herself away from the wall and headed toward the door.

"I'm going to go get mom to check your lip out." She smiled over at the girl, "It was nice talking to you."

With one last look behind her, Spencer walked out of the girl's room and headed downstairs. She knew that this was going to be an interesting experience, but for some reason she knew that, there was a lot more to the mysterious girl.


	4. Chapter 2: Part One

Chapter Two

Part One

(filler)

The stitches needed to be redone. Paula spent thirty minutes the night Sawyer arrived re-stitching her lip without any question on how it was re-busted. It looked like it didn't have an infection but the sting of the antiseptic should have caused tears. Paula was somewhat worried at Sawyer's apathy toward the pain but had continued to put in the twenty new stitches.

After she finished she had sent the tired girl off to bed. The following days Sawyer was quiet and said very little. She was shy and she would sometimes randomly shake due to an incoming anxiety attack. She hid it very well, but Paula and Arthur's trained eyes knew something was up. Sawyer had played a couple games with Glen when he was home but mostly kept to herself. Paula watched both of her kids try to include her in their adventures, but she opted out.

That morning Paula decided to take Spencer and Sawyer shopping at the mall. It took a little while to drag the girl out of her shell, but they were victorious in the task. They got her to speak about things she was interested in or, surprisingly, she would engage them into conversation.

Paula had bought the girl some new clothes and a couple little things that sparked her interest. Sawyer had been extremely conservative of what she would allow Paula to let buy her, but after four times Sawyer turned down something, she liked, Paula told her to stop and let her get her a couple things. This caused both girls to laugh. She found it interesting that the girl took a lot of interest in creative things and took not of it.

After dropping Spencer off at Ashley's, which was becoming a little easier after Pride, Arthur and Paula, were on their way to take Sawyer to therapy. Arthur had asked around the office of who everyone would recommend and most of the answers were to a psychologist named, Annabelle Peter. She was well known in her field of work for her natural and long lasting approach to people's mental health. Arthur thought that would be the best things for Sawyer.

"So, did you guys have fun today?" Arthur asked as her drove down the highway away from the city.

Paula nodded her head, "I think we did."

"Yeah, it was really amazing." Sawyer answered truthfully. "Thank you."

"It is really no problem. We want you to feel comfortable, Sawyer." Arthur answered the young girl. He was amazed at her manners. She reminded him of Clay at times; a good, respecting, kid who cared so deeply about others.

"I know, but I am really grateful," Sawyer stressed.

Paula smiled back at the young girl, "We know, hun, and we are just so happy to have you here. You're apart of the family now."

This caused Sawyer to smile and sit back. She wasn't used to this. She wasn't used to this attention and care from others. It made her feel a little content...but not all the way. She swept out her tongue to feel the angry burn of the stitches but was glad to have them heal.

"So, are you going to be alright going in by yourself?" Paula asked concerned. She was becoming motherly toward the young girl. She found having her here was helping her through the grieving process, but also reminded her of the child she had lost prematurely.

It took them another twenty minutes to arrive at Annabelle Peter's office. The woman's office was based out of a gorgeous Santa Monica bungalow. Her yard was filled with colorful flowers and a huge tree created much needed cover from the hot Californian sun. A hand crafted wooden sign that hung about the porch with the woman's name and "Natural Healing" carved into it.

"Looks nice," Arthur said pulling to a stop and turning off the engine.

Sawyer nodded her head, "Yeah."

They got out of the car and made their way up to the door. Sawyer followed Arthur and Paula into the house and waited patiently behind them.

"Hello," A gorgeous woman greeted them as they entered the room.

She looked like she was in her early thirties with long, golden locks. She was absolutely the definition of classic beauty. She wore light gray yoga Capri pants and a red tank top with a back apron over it. She had paintbrushes in one pocket and garden gloves in the other. She had black framed glasses, similar to Sawyer's, hanging on the bridge of her nose. The black rims framed the hazel hue eyes.

"You must be the Carlin's," she said smiling. She smiled warmly at the dark haired girl. "And you must be Sawyer."

Sawyer smiled, "Hello."

"I'm Annabelle." The woman said reaching out her hand. Sawyer shook the soft hand and smiled.

Annabelle looked over at Paula and Arthur, "We'll be an hour, that's how long the sessions usually last. You can stay here or there is a nice little cafe a block away you could go to. It's only a two minute walk." She suggested to the couple.

Arthur nodded, "That sounds good." He smiled over at his wife, "I think that would be great. We can get in a small date."

Paula smiled at her husband, "Good idea."

Paula hugged the teenager, "If you need anything, you have our number."

Sawyer nodded her head and watched them retreat out the door. She turned back to the older woman who was softly smiling at the girl.

Annabelle motioned for her to follow her, "Would you like to go out in the garden? Or I have an art studio in the shed."

Sawyer smiled, "The garden would be nice."

Annabelle pointed to the back door, "It's just right out there. I'll make us some tea."

"So, what was your happiest memory?"

Annabelle had let her walk around the garden, relaxing in the soft sun and looking at the many flowers that had bloomed beautifully. Sawyer turned around and glanced at her for a second as the older woman sat casually under a large tree similar to the one in the front yard. She enjoyed the easiness of the woman. She was so used to being stuck in some office with an uptight ass who thought they could tell her how to live her life.

She hated that.

Sawyer stood there for a moment, "Umm."

The dark haired girl thought for a second. She really couldn't think of many times. Something caught her eye, a white oleander growing next to her. She smiled and caressed the petal. She looked back to Annabelle, "When I was five, before life truly got crazy."

Annabelle nodded her head, "What happened?"

"My mom just moved us here because her friend said she could get her a job where we would live in a mansion." Sawyer said offhandedly. "So, of course, any twenty one year old thought that would be cool."

"So, you lived in Los Angeles?"

"Off and on."

"So, then what happened?"

Sawyer plopped down on the green grass across from Annabelle and picked at the grass. "I met this girl and we became best friends."

"Really?"

"Yeah, the oleander reminded me of her."

"How?"

"I was playing outside while my mom met with the family. She didn't want me ruining it for her and the little girl was running around the garden singing to herself." Sawyer chuckled. "She saw me and picked an Oleander off a bush and came up to me. 'M a Princess and so are you; our countries are at war so we have to marry. Ere you go.' Then she shoved the flower at me. It was the cutest thing ever."

Annabelle noticed the glint in her eyes and smiled. She loved hearing the stories of people's happiest times. It kept her optimistic when she heard the answer of the next question she usually asked.

"What was your worst memory?"

Sawyer played with her cast with her free hand. She fiddled there for a second. This answer was the easiest to answer because no type of pain her mother or her stepfather or anyone else can elicit on her caused as much pain as getting her heart tore away.

She sighed, "I lost my heart when I was twelve."


	5. Chapter 2: Part Two

Chapter Two

Part Two

"You really shouldn't tease me like that," Spencer warned slyly.

"Oh, really? And how am I teasing you?" Ashley asked caressing the sides of Spencer's thighs. She was stood between Spencer's legs as the blonde sat on top of one of Ashley's granite counters.

The older girl glanced down at the girl's topless chest and then back up into her azure eyes. "Ms. Carlin, I believe you know exactly what you're doing."

Spencer grinned, "I can assure you, Ms. Davis, I don't know wh..."

Ashley's lips formed around a coral, hard nipple and rolled it between her tongue causing the blonde to arch into her mouth. Her hands gripped Spencer's ass, pulling her closer into her own body.

"Ash," Spencer panted as the dark haired girl nibbled at the sensitive nub.

The singer's tongue should be labeled illegal. The things she could do to the blonde with the pink muscle was both mind blowing and body tingling.

"What?" Brown eyes looked up at the ex-cheerleader innocently.

Spencer looked at her lips, "I have to tell you something..."

Ashley shook her head, "In a moment, let me have some fun."

Spencer didn't have time to object. Ashley's hand found its way between Spencer's legs and her fingers pressed against the blonde's center. Spencer arched against the touch and pressed herself into the hand. Ashley grinned up at the blonde before taking the soft pink lips against her own.

Hooking her fingers through the thin material of Spencer's boy shorts, she pulled the garment off the girl and threw it on the counter opposite them. Ashley softly pushed the girl down so Spencer was propped up on her elbows. She could see everything that the girl was about to do and it made the shining wetness between her legs only flow more.

Ashley's hands were everywhere on the younger girl. She basked in the beauty of the other girl and couldn't get enough of her silky flesh. Ashley kissed her lips in a soft, sensual way and then moved down to her neck. She nibbled and sucked the sensitive flesh, trying not to leave any visible marks. Well, marks that would be visible to anyone else. Spencer had many spots along her neck and behind her ears that drove her crazy with happiness. One flick of her tongue to a spot and the blonde goes crazy.

Spencer let a low sexy moan escape her lips, her body enjoying the pleasure.

Moving lower down her body, Ashley gazed hungrily upon the blonde's perky breasts before lowering her head to taste the hardening buds. She took one and then the other into her mouth, sucking slowly, loving the feeling of Spencer's fingers massaging her scalp.

Hearty moans of pleasure ringed throughout the loft as Ashley lowered herself to lick across Spencer's abdomen. With her hands, she parted the girl's silky thighs and lowered herself between the girl's legs. Lapping at the soft skin of her inner thigh, Ashley delighted in the loud mews escaping Spencer's lips.

"Please, Ash," Spencer hissed.

Deciding not to make her wait any longer, the singer dived in with excitement.

Ashley lapped from top to bottom, tasting Spencer's sweet wetness on her tongue. She rolled the devilish member onto the blonde's rigid clit. Her dripping clit was so hard, protruding out of its small hood as Ashley took the very tip between her lips and grazed it with her teeth. Spencer's legs twitched with every lick.

Ashley's tongue traveled lower, teasing the blonde's opening. Spencer looked down panting, watching the older girl as she continued to tease and prod her dripping sex. Spencer tried to find something to hold onto but nothing was there. She wound her hands through Ashley's hair again, bringing her closer and pulling a little.

Two fingers plunged into Spencer's tight channel as Ashley's tongue continued its assault on her clit altering between long and deep strokes to strong suction.

Spencer arched her back and her whole body began to shake. "I'm so close." she panted.

Ashley continued pounding in steady, fast thrusts, reaching deep inside her writhing body. Spencer's body was going on overdrive and becoming extremely sensitive. She was trying to get a breath in, but she couldn't. It was becoming too powerful. Ashley held onto her, thrusting harder and deeper each time.

Spencer's nails scratched a path on the back of Ashley's back as she clutched onto her in her powerful spasms. Feeling the contractions recede, Ashley pulled her lips away from the girl's clit but keeping her fingers curved inside her.

The blonde took several deep breaths into her starved lungs. Ashley looked up with a loving smile at the younger girl. Her eyes were closed, mouth gaping open in release, and her blond trestles wild in the heated moments. She looked like a goddess.

"Wow," Spencer breathed out after a few minutes of recovering herself. Ashley was leaning against the counter with her head in her hands smiling.

"You look so beautiful," Ashley commented.

Spencer blushed and shyly ducked her head, "No."

Ashley nodded her head, "Yes, you are."

Spencer kissed Ashley's head gingerly. "Ash?"

"Mmm?"

Spencer looked down for a moment and back up at Ashley. She chuckled, "Your fingers?"

Ashley looked confused for a second, "huh?"

Spencer nodded her head down at Ashley's fingers still buried deep inside her. She cocked her head to the side with a playful smile. Ashley smiled at the girl and took out her fingers. She smiled teasingly at the girl before licking her fingers. "Mmm."

Ashley's lips found Spencer's in a heated moment. She smoothed the girl's wild locks out of her face and placed butterfly kisses on the girls lips and trailing them down the girls jaw and back to her lips. The ex-cheerleader's skin felt like silk under Ashley's lips.

The dark haired girl pulled back, "I love you."

Spencer smiled softly at the older girl and laced her fingers with her own. "I love you too." She said it proudly because the statement was true.

But if they loved each other, then why was everything so complicated?

"Have you thought about everything?" Ashley asked hopefully.

Spencer caressed the girl's palm, "Every thing's not that simple."

"Why can't it be?" Ashley asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"Ash, it's just not." Spencer took her hand from the girl's and ran it through her hair. "I understand you may be sorry..."

"I am sorry."

"...but having someone hesitate when you ask them to choose AND leave for two months AFTER your brother dies tends to make someone hesitate to make such a choice." Spencer explained with deepness in her words.

Ashley looked away shamefully, but then met Spencer's eyes. "I can't tell you how sorry I am. I know what I did was wrong and I wish I could only make it up to you. Spencer, if I could take everything back, I would, but I can't. I can only show you how much I love you and how sorry I am from now on. If that takes forever, then I will."

Spencer watched as the pain crossed the girl's eyes and every word that came out of Ashley's lips was true. It struck her heart and she knew the promise would leave an everlasting mark there. She leaned forward and softly kissed Ashley's lips. "Thank you, I needed to hear that. I believe you, but I still need to take it slow. I promised myself I wouldn't rush into something. I need time for you to show me."

Ashley nodded her head, "And I will. Like I promised before, I will never stop trying."

Spencer caressed her cheek, "That's all I needed to hear."

Ashley smiled the nose-crinkling smile that always made Spencer's heart skip a beat. She placed a kiss on the blonde's lips before pulling away. "So, what did you have to tell me, baby?"

Spencer's hands came to play with Ashley's hair, "Oh, erm, well remember that random family meeting?"

Ashley nodded her head, "Yeah, everything alright?"

Spencer nodded her head, "Yeah, an old friend of Dad's called and told him about this girl...and wanted to know if Mom and Dad would take her in."

Ashley cocked an eyebrow, "So some guy wants your parents to take in some random chick?"

Spencer nodded.

"Wow, so you'll have a new chick in your life?"

The way Ashley put it made Spencer burst into a fit of giggles. She nodded her head, "Of course." She took a second to get her laughter controlled. "Seriously, though, so we all agreed."

Ashley rested her chin against Spencer's chest and caressed her lower back. "Sweet, what do you know about her?"

"She's eighteen and from Louisville, Kentucky. She was very quiet but is getting more vocal. She's nice and sweet, but you can tell she is broken." Spencer said trying to explain the newest member to the Carlin home.

Ashley looked confused, "Did you talk to her already?"

Spencer smiled warily, "She's already here."

Ashley backed up a little bit but didn't let go, "When?"

"Last Tuesday."

"Four days ago?"

Spencer nodded her head, "Yeah, I was going to tell you but every time I was either busy or you were in the recording studio."

"Yeah, I have been pretty busy." Ashley commented. "Next week doesn't look so good either. They have me scheduled for five days!"

"I thought you are only recording one track?" Spencer asked.

"It is." Ashley changed the subject, "So, is this chick hot?"

Spencer chuckled and blushed a little, "Even with a black eye, split lip, and broken arm...she was gorgeous."

Ashley nodded her head at her Spencer's honesty. She could tell that the girl wasn't smitten over the new girl, but rather noticed a beautiful girl just because she was beautiful. Ashley asked concerned, "Is she alright?"

Spencer's demeanor turned completely serious, "She's broken."

Ashley caressed her check, "She has you guys now."

"Yeah," Spencer answered softly. "I guess."


	6. Chapter 2: Part Three

Chapter Two

Part Three

The sound of Fiest rushed through the room as Spencer stretched across the floor with her laptop in front of her and aim on screen. She let out a small giggle from some joke that Ashley had written to her though aim. She wittily replied with something to say.

"Who are you talking to?" Sawyer asked taking bundles of photos out of her shoeboxes.

"My...friend?" Spencer said smiling and cocked her head. Her earlier discussion with Ashley still hadn't cleared everything up. Plus, usually when discussions result in sex things become a little hazy or the other way around.

Sawyer took a seat on her floor across from where Spencer was sat up. She enjoyed the easiness Spencer possessed, making living in the Carlin household a little more comfortable. It was only her forth day here, but she was settling in pretty well.

"Friend?" Sawyer asked suggestively.

Spencer frowned for a second, "Well...it's complicated."

"How?"

"It's my ex," Spencer paused for a second, not wanting to scare the girl off. She didn't know if Sawyer was accepting of gay people or what, but given her personality, so far she didn't seem like the judgmental type. "Girlfriend."

"Oh yeah, I can see where that can get complicated." Sawyer commented as if it wasn't anything for a girl to be dating a girl. "Girls are so complicated."

Spencer was a little shock, "You date girls?"

The older girl chuckled, "Uhh, Spencer, that's usually what lesbians do."

"Wow, that's...wow." The blonde said a little shocked. She was still working on becoming straightforward about her sexuality. She wouldn't sit around and lie if someone asked her, but she wasn't as enthusiastic as Sawyer was either.

Sawyer laughed for the first time since she arrived. Spencer watched the laughter break from her lips and erupted.

"What's so funny?" Spencer asked.

Sawyer shrugged but continued laughing. After a second, Spencer joined in, loving the easiness of the situation.

After a few minutes of hearing the laughter, Paula made her way to Sawyer's room. She was happy the young girl was becoming so comfortable. She had been worried about the girl when she was quiet for two whole days.

She opened the door finding both girls on the floor holding their sides. She waited a second for them to calm down.

"You girls alright?" She asked with a smile on her face. She never knew that a smile could be so radiant until she looked at both the girl's faces.

"Yeah," Sawyer answered, straightening herself up.

"What's so funny?" Paula asked walking into the room and taking a seat on the bed above them.

"I don't know," Spencer said trying to contain herself. "Random laughing moment."

"Ahh," Paula nodded her head.

Spencer smiled at her mother before the ping of a new message flowed onto her screen. She smiled at the link to download a picture. She clicked on the blue text and a huge smile popped onto her face. A completely adorable photo of Ashley forming a heart with her hands covered the screen. Spencer's heart fell ten stories at the gesture. It made her smile, wish everything could just be okay, and back to how it used to be.

b Ohiogirl89: /b that was so cute.

b rockstarprincessash: /b It was hot, not cute. I don't do cute.

b Ohiogirl89: b Oh come on, it was adorable.

b rockstarprincessash: /b No, hot, sexy, gorgeous. Not cute!

b Ohiogirl89: /b Haha, whatever you say.

b rockstarprincessash: /b I'm hot.

b Ohiogirl89: /b Your conceited.

b rockstarprincessash: /b that too.

Spencer chuckled to herself and shook her head at the girl she was talking to. Ashley really was an egomaniac. Spencer smiled at the thought of her and Ashley hanging out in Ashley's old room. It felt like such a long time ago, the time where she had no care in the world.

b Ohiogirl89: /b Well, Sexy, what are you up to?

b rockstarprincessash: /b about to head to the studio

b Ohiogirl89: /b Aww, poor baby

b rockstarprincessash: /b well, you can come with me?

b Ohiogirl89: /b I'm busy with homework

b rockstarprincessash: /b oh, well, I'll talk to you later. love.

Paula looked down at Sawyer, "What do you have there?"

"Just some pictures," Sawyer answered, beginning to spread them out in front of her.

"Can I sit?" Paula pointed to the spot next to her next to her on the floor. Sawyer nodded her head and Paula gingerly took a seat next to the girl. She watched as the young girl meticulously laid out each picture. "What are you doing with them?"

"Trying to figure out which ones I want to put on my picture board," Sawyer said gesturing at the large board above her bed.

Seeing her mother take a seat, Spencer's attention turned to the ten pictures lying on the floor between them. She noticed the large stack of other pictures lying in Sawyer's lap. She moved her laptop to the side to get a better look.

Paula pointed to one in the center, "Are these all you?"

Sawyer nodded her head "Yeah, I was about six in all these."

Paula studied the smiling face of the child in the picture as she shyly stood behind a slightly taller girl. Sawyer's hair was a brighter red hue from the sun and looked like a halo of reddish brown curls around her head. A tiny caramel colored hand clutched the sun kissed hand of the other girl. Both girls held large smiles with their front teeth missing. They stood in the small tide of the ocean with matching Power Ranger bathing suits on.

"You look so adorable!" Spencer said leaning in to see the picture.

Sawyer ducked her head and blushed, "Thank you."

Paula examined the picture closer, wanting to get to know more about the girl. "What is the story behind this?"

Sawyer examined the picture closer and smiled. "I used to live here on and off for a while."

Paula looked surprise, "Really?"

The dark hair girl nodded her head, "Yeah, my mom came back and forth."

"For what?" Spencer asked cautiously.

"Random things. I never really knew why. I just knew I would be dragged back and forth from Indiana to here. There were a couple times I didn't have to go with her, but it doesn't matter." Sawyer said looking sadly at the pictures.

Spencer followed her gaze to the rest of them. She noticed that all ten of them had the same little girl from the previous picture. The dark eyes reminded her of someone but she just couldn't place it. The little girl's eyes held a sparkle in them that no one she knew held.

Paula sat the picture down next to the others, "You mean she just left you here?"

Sawyer nodded, "It was a good thing actually. I was really close to my best friend and her family. My mom worked for them, so I was always there anyway..."

"She left you with the people she worked with?" Spencer asked astounded that anyone would leave their child.

Sawyer smiled sadly, "They were my second family. I would rather have stayed with them."

Spencer nodded her head not really knowing what to say. She could honestly say she knew how that feels, but it wasn't as bad as the girl sitting across from her. She thought on it for a second and realized that her life had been pretty easy. She was thankful for that.

"Do you still talk to them?" Paula asked curiously.

Sawyer shook her head sadly, "My mom wouldn't let me. She was jealous at how close I was with them."

She reached for the picture Paula held in her hand and the older woman handed it to her with a soft smile. She put all the photos in the bundle and set them to the side. The sad smile was wiped off her face and replaced with a happier one.

"Thank you again, Paula." Sawyer said sincerely. In all honesty, the eighteen year old was moved by the Carlin's. They were being completely selfless by letting the teenager live with them, and not to mention taking care of her as if she really was apart of their family. These pictures only reminded how when she left Los Angeles those some years ago, she had left her heart. She was beginning to think that there was a possibility she could find it again, even if it is a little bit given to her by this family.

Paula smiled as the girl and pulled her into a hug. Spencer watched from a few feet away and felt empathy for the girl. She joined her mother in on the hug. They sat there for a moment, clinging onto the reality that was family.


End file.
